Ari's life journey

A relative calm day today.
Last night I stayed up till 1.30am setting up the groupware program. I was having trouble on the calendar system. But then I found out the error was because we create Group without any member. I almost gave up because on the IRC channel they suggested me to uninstall and re-install the module, which I did without success. Well, I'm glad I found the cause.

About faith...
Last night before I slept, I was thinking about it quite a bit. I tried to remember what it's like when I was in elementary-junior high school. What I remember is that in those times, I was almost never worried about anything. I guess, I have a much stronger faith in my younger life. Well, life was also much simple that time. I don't have to worry about money, work, or even school! I used to be able to "quick read" a book and then still got good mark for it.

Now, there are s so many things that worry me in life. Money, work, security, etc.... I think, the older I am, the more faith I should have. But it doesn't! Well, sometimes I do have strong faith, but not regularly. This lack of faith is torturing me, especially when I don't know what lies in the road ahead, when I can't predict the result, or when I run out of options.

I do remember the story of "foot prints on the sand" and it gives me strenght just by remembering it. Also the story of a child asking her mother of what she's sewing of. The first story tells us that God always walk along side us, and in times of hardness, He carries us. The second story tells us that eventhough life is so hard and we don't understand what is God's plan for us, in time He will give the best for us.

I need to talk to Him again tonight. I think it's high time for me to really try to reach Him again. You know, in elementary school, I always had a goosebump when praying. I don't know how, but when I prayed, I could picture Him in my mind clearly and I can feel His presence.

I really miss you, God.

posted by Fajar @ 3:26 AM