Ari's life journey

A relative calm day today.
Last night I stayed up till 1.30am setting up the groupware program. I was having trouble on the calendar system. But then I found out the error was because we create Group without any member. I almost gave up because on the IRC channel they suggested me to uninstall and re-install the module, which I did without success. Well, I'm glad I found the cause.

About faith...
Last night before I slept, I was thinking about it quite a bit. I tried to remember what it's like when I was in elementary-junior high school. What I remember is that in those times, I was almost never worried about anything. I guess, I have a much stronger faith in my younger life. Well, life was also much simple that time. I don't have to worry about money, work, or even school! I used to be able to "quick read" a book and then still got good mark for it.

Now, there are s so many things that worry me in life. Money, work, security, etc.... I think, the older I am, the more faith I should have. But it doesn't! Well, sometimes I do have strong faith, but not regularly. This lack of faith is torturing me, especially when I don't know what lies in the road ahead, when I can't predict the result, or when I run out of options.

I do remember the story of "foot prints on the sand" and it gives me strenght just by remembering it. Also the story of a child asking her mother of what she's sewing of. The first story tells us that God always walk along side us, and in times of hardness, He carries us. The second story tells us that eventhough life is so hard and we don't understand what is God's plan for us, in time He will give the best for us.

I need to talk to Him again tonight. I think it's high time for me to really try to reach Him again. You know, in elementary school, I always had a goosebump when praying. I don't know how, but when I prayed, I could picture Him in my mind clearly and I can feel His presence.

I really miss you, God.

posted by Fajar @ 3:26 AM 0 Comments

I think I know what is wrong with me. Why I'm having all those insecure and anxious feelings. It's because my faith is not as strong as it's used to be... I really need to talk to Him, a real conversation and not just a ritual prayer. Oh God, please have mercy on me...

posted by Fajar @ 6:14 AM 0 Comments

I need to do some more research on the internet tonight regarding some future-related issues. I think 2 hours will be sufficient. Also I need to browse through a mailing list archive of about 1500 emails, looking for clues of what I must do next.

I am confident I can finish it tonight. I'm already feeling that my energy is back again for me to be able to stay up late in the night again. Just keep focus and believe.

posted by Fajar @ 5:12 AM 0 Comments

A loser (always) says "It is possible but it is hard"
A winner (always) says "It is hard but it is possible"

So many things I want to achieve, but I don't know what will the result be.

My friend said, "Do your best and let God does the rest".

Oh man!
I'm really confused. I need to pray......

posted by Fajar @ 4:32 AM 0 Comments

I stayed up until 2am yesterday, installing mail server and stuffs on my notebook. I need the mail server because I want to run a groupware software for the office. I got some difficulties at first regarding the mail module, the sending process was so slow, I suspected that it's related with DNS issue, and I was right. After arriving at the office, I setup the proper domain and DNS record, and the mail-sending process is not taking so long anymore.

About the groupware software, it is great! Some of the features are: mail, calendar, trouble-ticket system, forum, messagging, etc.. which all those features can be run privately or for collaborative purposes. Amazing indeed. I think I must study this product deeper, because I smell money in it. Hmm.. I can start seeing something on how my future business is like.

By the way, this morning on the way to the office, I saw someone that I had a cross when we were in University. Boy, she's still the same as I remember, very attractive. Beside having a great body, she's also has a great eyes. When looking, she's so sharp. Talking about her, she took her post-graduate degree in Australia, and when she came back, she called me but I wasn't at home. The call was in my answering maching, but since she didn't say her name, I thought that it was somebody else, and I didn't call back. I wonder what would have had happen if I called her back....

posted by Fajar @ 10:32 PM 0 Comments

So many things I wanna do, but so little time and energy.
Sometimes I wish I don't have to go to bed, I wish I can awake all 24 hours a day. So many things to learn, but too little energy and time.

I want to master French, I want to master Linux, I want to be able to make a good web-design, I want to be able to do side-job in order to earn more money, I want to write books and become a well-known writer, I want to go around the world, I want to save the world, I want to be able to play games more often, I want a super-fast internet connection, I want to go to the movies every weekend, etc....

posted by Fajar @ 3:41 AM 0 Comments

Somber day today. I wanted to do some research on groupware web-portal system, but our internet connection is so slow. So, I've just managed to do the browsing now. There are 72 projects regarding groupware in freshmeat.net. I browsed through them all, and got about 15 good ones. Must download and test them locally. The reason behind this that the boss wants us to do some projects collaboratively. Often, each department does it's project without the acknowledgment from other department, this results in less coordination and when finally the coordination is taken, it's too late.

We've just got presentation from a company about digital archiving. Quite impressive, but expensive. Well.., not really, but the owner doesn't want to sell the product based on the license only, but he wants to sell it after analyzing our cost on documentation process. What a greedy man (well, maybe all businessman is like that).

My friend Harry just contacted me on IRC that he has finished his proposal and syllabus on wifi training. I plan to get all my staffs trained, and also staffs from the General Affair department. Harry is great, a true example of how Linux can benefit us economically.

posted by Fajar @ 8:55 PM 0 Comments

This morning I have a weekly meeting with the Director and the head of departments. Just an usual meeting. But, when it came the Director asked my colleque about the inventory SOP progress, I couldn't help myself to complain about it. I said that I was irritated by him and that I was not pleased for wasting my time for such a meeting. I think he was angry, but we are the ones that should be angry with him. Well, anyway, my other colleaques support me. It wasn't the system that is faulted, it's him.

Another story. Yesterday my sister-in-law bought a CDMA handphone, because she needs it to do her job and school paper at home and then send it by email. Alas! She bought the wrong type, so we have to use fren (by mobile8) and not StarOne (by Indosat). Luckily, it turned out that mobile8 is good enough. It was my first time setting up a mobile internet access, and I was surprised to know that the speed was almost 200KBps! More than 5 times dial-up modem!

So, now I'm the one that is very interested in buying a CDMA handphone. Because, when we came to the mobile8's stand, they have a promotion that if we buy Rp.2.000.000 of mobile8's voucher, we'll get a brand new NOKIA 6585! I think it is a very good deal, and I'll be able to save quite a budget monthly from my dial-up internet access cost.

posted by Fajar @ 1:44 AM 0 Comments